Pause for dramatic effect.

No telling what will come out of Michael Whan’s office in the next couple of days, or if Koreans Shi Hyun Ahn and Ilmi Chung will shock the world and admit they conspired to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes in Winnipeg. The lack of updates on this story suggests that maybe it’s not as big a deal as Larry Smich wants you to think, even if Golfweek is beginning their own external investigation.

The part of Smich’s account that still has me baffled is that two Korean-born players would actually communicate with each other in, get this, Korean. If that doesn’t point to automatic guilt, our justice system –or at least the one south of the border – is in need of an overhaul.

***

Not to make light of a potentially devastating situation, but a word of caution to those fortunate enough to be in the starting field for this week’s Deutsche Bank Championship.

Don’t forget the rain gear.

Oh, and you may want to pack some water wings. Just in case.

It’s September which means the start of two seasons on the East Coast – NFL and hurricane. And, right on schedule, here comes Earl barrelling towards the coastline with Cape Cod and surrounding area right in his sights.

Early projections have Earl hitting the Boston area early Friday, dumping more than five inches of rain and packing winds ranging from 55 to 130 MPH.

We’ll say it first. 54-hole event. We’d say Monday finish, but it’s already ending Monday. Or so we think.

***

Colin Montgomerie’s captain picks for the Ryder Cup may have raised a few eyebrows, but we won’t know the ramifications until after the Cup is presented in Wales.

Win, Monty looks like a genius. Lose and, well, prepare to be stoned – figuratively speaking of course.

The rumour making the rounds is that Paul Casey and Justin Rose may have been passed on is they have played so much of the season in the U.S. as opposed to in Europe. Politics in the Ryder Cup – who knew?

That didn’t sit well with Luke Donald, who was one of Monty’s picks:

Despite being hampered by a rib injury that has been bothering him, there is no logical reason why Casey was left off the European team. Casey, with his 12th place finish over the weekend, is ranked number eight in the world. This one could come back to haunt Montgomerie.

If the Euros don’t win in Wales, Monty is going to take a beating in the papers overseas.

Show up, keep up, shut up. It’s a pretty universal saying in tour circles.

Even more experienced caddies like Larry Smich may want to take note. Well, at least the shut up part anyway.

During a week where the stories of the CN Canadian Women’s Open should have been Michelle, mosquitoes and Manitoba, Smich got a little of the Stephen Williams syndrome and actually believed his opinion is something we can’t live without.

In case you missed it, Smich continued his rather apparent personal vendetta against Korean-born players on the LPGA Tour, using vague (not to mention conflicting) second-hand accounts to accuse Koreans Shi Hyun Ahn and Ilmi Chung of trying to pull a fast one in Winnipeg.

Here, with a tip of the cap to Bob Weeks at SCOREGolf, is what Smich had to ramble on about in his blog:

Um, Larry, couple of things here.

Given the language barrier issues Korean players seem to have on the LPGA Tour, there really isn’t some sort of conspiracy theory when Ahn and Chung “conversed in Korean.” As for the alleged statement “you didn’t see anything” directed at the caddie, could it not have been uttered in the form of a question? You know, like when a player asks his caddie “How far to clear that hazard?”

“You did not see anything?”

Sort of changes the context of the sentence, doesn’t it?

I’m not defending Ahn and Chung here. Over at Waggle Room, Ryan Ballengee says in an update he is hearing that the third caddie in the group, who was looping for Danielle Downey, was getting ready to rat out the two Koreans for playing each other’s ball as they prepared to sign their scorecards. Apparently, only then did Ahn and/or Chung call for a rules official, which all but ensured they would be getting DQ’d.

In yet another update Sunday afternoon, Ballengee says it was actually Ahn’s caddie who told the story to Smich. Weeks adds a source tells him the Koreans called the LPGA Tour officials from their hotel room, a couple of hours after they signed their cards.

Which, whether the allegations are proven or not, brings us back to Smich.

Smich has caddied on the LPGA Tour since 1977, which makes him one of the more experienced loopers in the business. In all those years, his bosses have racked up a grand total of three wins. You do the math.

There’s probably a reason he doesn’t have a full-time bag.

Perhaps these allegations against Ahn and Chung will prove founded and that they were indeed busted cheating. But posting a garbage blog based on hearsay and then thumping your chest in an “I told you so” sort of way when it comes to Korean players makes one seem like a bit of a doofus. Not to mention stereotyping racist.

Did the Koreans cheat in Winnipeg? Maybe.

Not my place, as I can’t say definitively. After all, I didn’t see what happened.

Maybe Smich should have taken the high road and let the officials deal with the situation. Then again, that would have required him to keep his mouth shut.

Is this the week that Wie finally takes her first steps towards stardom?

OK, that might be stretching it a bit but, with the best of the best on the LPGA Tour converging on the ‘Peg for the CN Canadian Women’s Open, Wie certainly looked the part of superstar at St. Charles, dunking an ace en route to a 65 and the opening day lead.

Can she hang on and get a win north of the 49th? Past history suggests probably not, but if nothing else, it’s another reason for casual fans to tune in this weekend.

It would be a bonus for Canadian golf fans if Wie, golf’s version of The Next One, could find a way to get it done in Winnipeg. No matter what you may think of her career choices to date, her parents or even the state of her game, there is little doubt that Wie is money in terms of LPGA popularity going forward. She may not be the best player on the loop, but she is the most marketable and that makes her Michael Whan’s meal ticket.

One has to think Whan and LPGA Tour officials are salivating at the thought of their poster child winning one of the flagship events on the schedule, not to mention a national championship.

There are more than a few people with fingers crossed – and not just north of the 49th – that Wie can stay in contention this weekend.

***

Keep an eye on the Canadian Tour Championship going on in St. Catharines this week. Better yet, make the trip down the QEW and see the best of the circuit slug it out for $325,000, the most lucrative purse the Canadian Tour has ever seen.

The event caps off a bittersweet summer run across this fine land for Canadian Tour Commissioner Rick Janes. While playing for a big purse this week, along with a $300,000 stop in Winnipeg and a trio of $250,000 events, Janes told me recently priority number one is plugging a few holes in the summer schedule to round out his players’ travel schedule. He’s got one new event pencilled in for Fort McMurray and is burning the midnight oil trying to get a few others under contract.

***

Things that make you go “hmmmmmm.” Just a couple of days after his divorce is made official, Tiger has his best round of the year. Coincidence? Discuss.

***

So, in case you missed it, Adam Shaw and Gajan Sivabalasingham won the GAO’s Junior Boys Better Ball Championship earlier this week at Shelburne G&CC.

Not sure what is more impressive: the win itself or the caddy master that somehow had to spell SIVABALASINGHAM, let alone find a way to get it on a bib.

Seems Inkster knew she was going to have to wait a while on the backed-up tenth tee, so she pulled out a 9-iron, attached a training doughnut weight to it and limbered up.

Only that is a no-no in golf – and just a plain stupid rule.

Say what you want about Dustin Johnson and Jose de Jesus Gonzales and their unfortunate DQs from tournaments they both could have very well won. We can argue about whether or not Johnson’s grounding of a club was indeed in a bunker – although, it would be a pretty short argument as the PGA Tour rules officials said yes – and Rodriguez didn’t sign his card.

But Inkster? For keeping warmed up on the tee when there was going to be a long wait? So she can take as many swings as she wants with that 9-iron but don’t you dare attach a doughnut to the club? In internet lingo, that is known as WTF?

Perhaps the only thing worse than the actual rule is the loser sitting on his couch that actually caught the infraction and called the LPGA Tour.

Again, not the first time, but honestly, some people need to find something else to do with their lives.

***

Hmmm. Tiger and Elin divorced? Huh? What happened?

This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be, this most miserable of seasons for Canada’s glory boy on the links, but it ended as most figured it would at the Wyndham Championship. Missed cut, missed playoffs. For the first time since the PGA Tour’s rather lame playoff structure was unveiled in 2007, Weir will be watching from his couch, just like the rest of us.

Oddly enough, Toronto Sun columnist Steve Buffery took a lot of criticism for his column during the Canadian Open titled “Is Weir Washed Up?” Dismiss for a moment that the wrath of fans and media were misdirected for, as most of us know in this business, writers generally don’t write their own headlines. Then again, it shouldn’t really matter.

See, for those who know him, Beezer is a bit of a shock scribe, who likes to ruffle your feathers by playing the miserable middle-aged dude who gets paid to, well, ruffle your feathers. He knew his piece would get a rise out of Canadian fans.

He was right. And, sadly, Buffery may be a lot closer to the truth than his critics care to admit.

Weir has said himself he is struggling with his game, with his confidence, with his health. And let’s face it, nagging injuries like his current elbow issues don’t heal nearly as quickly at 40 as they did at 30.

The miserable campaign was probably caused by a lot of things. Confidence. Injuries. His lack of length off the tee finally catching up to him with today’s long bombers blowing tee shots by his. Figure this: Weir was still money with the flat stick, finishing second on the PGA Tour in putts per round. Once he got on the green, Weir, as usual, got the job done. The problem was getting there.

It’s not time to drop the curtain on his career, but there is little doubt that his star is slowly fading, to quote a line Buffery used.

Washed up? Not quite. But Weir said as much himself this season. He sucked.

Sadly, in 2010, he’s not going to get much of an argument from a country that still adores him.

***

Next time you think you’ve had a tough day at work, think of Mexico’s Jose de Jesus Rodriguez.

At the Canadian Tour’s Seaforth Country Classic Saturday, Rodriguez lit it up for a course-record typing 10-under 61 on moving day and build a three-shot lead heading into the final day.

How can that be bad news, you ask?

Well, he didn’t take a three shot lead into the final day. Instead, he forgot to sign his scorecard and got the dreaded DQ scrawled beside his name.

No matter how many times it happens, no matter how many times you say “There’s no one to blame but himself”, you’ve got to admit that stings.

If there is any justice in the golf world, Rodriguez goes down the highway to St. Catharines and wins the $325,000 Canadian Tour Championship.

Oh, and we’re betting that’s the last time he leaves the scoring area without double-checking his card.

Seaforth, Ontario.

For the third consecutive year, the rural southwestern Ontario community is playing host to a Canadian Tour event, the Economical Insurance Group Seaforth Country Classic. About the biggest problem event organizers are having this week is finding a way to fit that entire name on tournament posters.

As you’ve probably guessed by now, the fine folks in Seaforth have secured a major sponsor for the event. If you need to be told who it is, well, it’s time to go back to school.

OK, so the purse is a modest $125,000 but, then again, players won’t be racking up a lot of expenses this week. There is no need for an official host hotel, which is probably a good thing because the closest lodging players will find is in London, Goderich or Stratford. You see, the community embraces the event, and an overwhelming majority of players will be billeted by local families. Put the wallets away, boys. This one’s on us.

A unique tournament? You bet.

Seaforth, Ontario should be the blueprint proving size doesn’t matter when everyone in town gets involved.

***

And here you thought Dustin Johnson took the biggest loss in a sand trap this past week.

You obviously haven’t met some clown named Matthew F. Diulio.

To set the scene, course workers arrived at Connecticut’s Topstone Golf Course and probably had to do a double take at a hazard one won’t see every day.

There, in a bunker on the eighth hole, was an upside down Saab. We’re guessing that North American car buffs will suggest that isn’t a bad place for a Saab, but let’s try to stay on topic.

Not long after, like clockwork in fact, a phone call came in from Diulio telling police that, oddly enough, his black Saab had been stolen.

The good news, Mr. Diulio, is we found your car. The bad? You better have a pretty strong head on your wedge.

Well, after some sleuthing police work – or probably a confession – it turns out Diulio may have stretched the truth a little. After a joyride with a buddy through Topstone, he zigged when he should have zagged and ended up at the wrong beach at 2 in the morning.

And now all he has to show for it is a dinged up Saab and a date with the judge for filing a false police report.

Which begs the question, at 20, why isn’t he cruising around in his ride looking for girls?

Surely, the Saab must impress at least one girl in town.

Fresh off a run to the semi-finals at the U.S. Women’s Amateur, Sherlock is set to start playing for her supper beginning with the Canadian PGA Women’s Championship, which got underway Tuesday in Burlington.

Even though her impressive run to the semis in North Carolina lacked the media attention it deserved, the timing is perfect for Sherlock to to start taking her swings for cheques. There should be a buzz around Burlington G&CC after Sherlock’s performance at the U.S. Am and if she can stay in the thick of things early, Sherlock may very well get that recognition that seemed so lacking last week.

It should be interesting to watch Sherlock and current young gun Jenn Kirby, who joined Sherlock in reaching the U.S. Am semis, as they progress towards the LPGA Tour. It will be a few years before Kirby turns pro but both look like they’ve got the game to succeed. But, as we’ve seen so many times before, having the game doesn’t mean a whole lot once you start doing this for a living.

Sherlock came within two matches of putting an exclamation point on a dazzling amateur career. During her run, her resume was dotted with a win at the 2007 Canadian Women’s Amateur a triumph on the CN Canadian Women’s Tour, eight NCAA crowns while taking her college swings at the University of Denver and a sixh-place showing at the Canadian PGA Women’s Championship last year.

Later this year, Sherlock will head south for LPGA Q-School. For now, she is going to soak it all in. From the Canadian PGA press release:

For those who have watched her amateur career, it wouldn’t come as much of a surprise.

Apparently not.

Outside of a couple of AP/CP wire stories and very brief references on a few prominent golf websites, there was very little attention paid to the runs of Kirby and Sherlock, both former Canadian Women’s Amateur champions, right to the final four of the U.S. Am.

All in all the coverage was modest at best. A little surprising considering both have been national amateur champions north of the border and are likely among Canada’s best bets for the LPGA Tour in the next few years.

Oh well, the lack of coverage in Canada takes nothing away from their efforts in North Carolina. Had one of them managed to win the U.S. Am, it would have been the first time a Canuck won the title since Cathy Sherk 32 years ago. In the end, they came up just short.

Both have bright futures in this business.

***

Sounds like a feelgood story on the local pro golf scene may be in jeopardy.

Word out of the Canadian Tour offices is that the Jane Rogers Championship, barring some sponsorship help, may have played its last round Sunday at Greystone GC. The tournament, which has run four years, honours Jane Rogers, who lost a battle with cancer yet still continued to raise funds for her cancer clinic, the Trillium Health Centre Oncology Unit, right up until her final days.

Commissioner Rick Janes stresses that since its inception, the Canadian Tour and Landmark Sport Group, the tournament promoter, have largely subsidized the event to raise funds for cancer research and to keep the memory of Jane Rogers alive.

The issue now is the lack of both a title sponsor and purse increase. Janes has helped increase the average purse in Canada to close to $250,000 – two are at $300,000 or more – while the JRC remains at $125,000.

Hopefully, someone steps up and takes over the rather unique event. In this booming golf market, the Jane Rogers Championship deserves nothing less. The event has raised a lot of money for both the Colorectal Cancer Association of Canada and the Trillium Health Centre Oncology Unit.

Oh, and the event is near and dear to Landmark President Elliott Kerr’s heart. After all, Jane Rogers was Kerr’s wife.

Seeing how Tiger Woods was spotted chatting with former swing coach Butch Harmon earlier this week at Whistling Straits, maybe we shouldn’t make too much out of the fact Burlington’s Sean Foley strolled the course with Woods Tuesday during a tuneup for the PGA Championship. According to Tiger himself, he approached Foley to videotape his swing and offer a few pointers.

So, are Woods and Foley are destined to work together full-time? Not so fast.

Foley has said he won’t sacrifice any of his current clients, including Sean O’Hair, Hunter Mahan and Stephen Ames, to take on Woods full-time but in a feature I did with Foley last year, he was pretty blunt when it came to Tiger talk, which, of course, is the Foley way:

One would think being Tiger’s coach would be a full-time gig in itself, but you can bet Foley won’t take on Tiger at the expense of any of his other high-profile stars.

Talking to several golfers who have worked under Foley, the common theme seems to his ability to not only improve their swing, but to get inside their heads and offer his own unique form of motivating his clients.

And right now, that may be Foley’s biggest gift of all to Tiger.

***

Quick tip of the cap to the eight Canadians who moved on to stroke play at the U.S. Women’s Amateur in North Carolina. Jennifer Kirby, Sara-Maude Juneau, Nicole Vandermade, Stephanie Sherlock, Nicole Zhang, Anna Kim, 2010 Canadian junior champion Rebecca Lee-Bentham and Lisa Maunu all finished inside the top 64 to advance. Juneau and Kim will square off against one another while Kirby, who has wielded the hottest stick in Canadian amateur golf over the past year, takes on American Brittany Altomare Wednesday morning.

So here goes.

Tiger Woods is imploding right before our very eyes.

Sorry, there’s no way to sugarcoat it. Many armchair caddies, myself included, figured it was just a matter of time before Woods got his groove, and his swing, back and starting rolling over his PGA Tour brethren. I mean, come on, it’s Tiger freakin’ Woods.

Or, at least, it was. Pre Thanksgiving, 2009. This man, this feeble man who hit one-third of his fairways through the first three days of the Bridgestone, is just a shell of what he once was. You don’t just lose that God-given talent overnight – right now, Tiger’s biggest enemy is between his ears.

As his legacy continues to take a hit, maybe it’s time for Tiger to step away from the game for a year. It’s obvious his heart, and his head, are not in the game. No matter how bad things are at home – which, frankly, is no one else’s business – Woods needs to get that taken care of and get his family affairs in order. On the importance scale, golf is a distant second.

Once the head is clear, the game will follow. Right now, it’s just plain ugly.

***

Want to see how to close out a golf tournament? Check out David Frost’s performance Sunday at the Champions Tour’s 3M Championship. A final-day 11-under 61 and a seven shot runaway.

That, my friends, is how it’s done. By the way, Frost was 25-under par. In a three-round tournament. You do the math.

***

Just a reminder that the Canadian Tour kicks off its Ontario run this week with the ClubLink Jane Rogers Championship in Halton Hills. Great chance to see some of the best prospects on the planet for ten bucks a day – and free if you’re a senior, student or child. Can’t beat that value.

Among those teeing it up at Greystone is RBC Canadian Open darling Adam Hadwin, who currently sits fourth on the money list. Playing on sponsor’s exemptions are four-time PGA Tour winner Notah Begay, 2009 NCAA champion Matt Hill and Jim Nelford.

Get out to Greystone – it’ll be well worth the trip.